A Lucky Rejection

Thanks for finding your way back to this scientific blog.  Thomas Edison once said after 10,000 failed experiments that they were not, in fact, failures but rather he now knew 10,000 ways that his experiment would not work.  What follows, ladies and gentlemen, I believe falls in line with that great man’s thinking.


As a  quick recap here is date numbero dos:
“Location: Due to so many hurtful rejections last week based on location, this week, and this week only, I have decided that the location of the date can be in Dallas or…or if the “datee’s” location is cool enough, I’ll come to you…

Activity: Anything- lady’s choice… (just someone please say yes this time).  I’m up for literally, literally, anything! Ok, well anything not lame that is.  I mean I’m not gonna come clean your house or something equally as terrible.  But anything fun like:  riding horses into the sunset, jet skiing, talking about me, watching a sporting event, playing laser tag,  listening to… me talk about myself, watching a movie or going out for live theater.  Literally anything… that I also want to do.   And we could do dinner too, but nothing weird though. Simple American cuisine or perhaps a foreign type of food that I don’t find repulsive…no bugs, please.

Objective: Learn how awesome David is…( shouldn’t be too hard)”

This is the response I received from one Rebekah:

(Once again what she wrote is in black and my commentary is in hopefully red)

“Alrighty (Handsome) Daved (David).. Let me say I was prepared to accept the research “date” for your scintifec (scientific) blog. HOWEVER you did not want to mosey (I never “mosey” anywhere.  It shows weakness) down the road [to Florida] (why is Florida in [ ] ? It looks ridiculous, don’t do that) so, YOU MISSED OUT? (This sentence is not a question) I was so excited to participate in this scentafic (scientific) blog (What she is too shy to say here is that she was super excited to have the opportunity to go on a date with yours truly) that I ran right out to rent jet-skis and buy tickets to the rays game on Monday (premature). But naaay (that is the sound a horse makes). You won't come.  You wouldn't even consider the idea. So not only are you miscing (missing) out on some AMAZING (You seem to shout a lot, that is not very becoming of a lady) Florida fun, but your blog will also suffer. I'm disappointeded (disappointed, but that was close) in you. (Don’t care) I thought you were a dedicated man.. (Why two periods?) That you would do anything in your power to get the research you needed,(Perhaps you are simply not the “research” that I needed) not sleeping until your blog was completed. Now I see it is just a muse (Do you mean ruse?  A muse is something else entirely). Something to save you from the extra minutes in the day (My day has the same amount of minutes as everyone else, no extra minutes here), the pointless jabber in your mind. (Not a complete sentence.)

Good luck with your new "Hobby" (Who told you I started licking people’s faces after I first meet them?  It’s not a hobby exactly but it makes me happy.)

-Rebekah (Rebecca) “

Well thank you “Rebekah” for taking the time to confirm all of our worse fears about the American education system.  I am sure that we will never quite recover.  I would also like to thank you for living in Florida so that I had a reasonable excuse not to have to spend what I am sure would have been a loud and confusing time, which probably would have ended up with me making some sort of vocabulary flashcards for you to study.

A few things that have helped me in Grad school are: just remember “e” before “I” except after “w”, which almost never happens. Every good boy is shunned by girls but the bad boys have all the fun.  (That stands for “e” is generally before “I” silly but grapes taste best boiled huh Apples taste funny.)  A homeless man in northern Colorado taught me that ditty on a dark night in the middle of a blizzard before peeing on my leg and stealing my backpack full clothes, food, and innocent dreams.

You are awarded -2 points.